What to Do When Your Child Hates Reading
Cultivating a Love of Books in a Screen-Dominated World
How to Transform "I Hate Reading" into "Just One More Chapter, Please!"
The Crisis We're Facing
"A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one."
— George R.R. Martin
Here's a sobering reality: American children are reading less than any generation in recorded history.
According to the National Assessment of Educational Progress (2023):
Only 33% of fourth graders read at a proficient level
43% of children say they read for pleasure less than once a week
The average child spends 6 hours daily on screens but only 6 minutes reading for pleasure
Renaissance Learning's 2022 report found:
Children's reading volume has dropped 27% since 2012
The steepest decline is among children ages 8-12 (the crucial years for developing lifelong reading habits)
"Literacy is a bridge from misery to hope."
— Kofi Annan, former UN Secretary-General
When children don't read, they don't just miss out on stories—they miss out on vocabulary development, critical thinking skills, empathy, imagination, and academic success across every subject.
So what do we do when our child says, "I hate reading"?
My Wake-Up Call: The iPad Standoff
I learned this lesson the hard way with my own children. We'd invested in educational apps. Downloaded reading programs. Set up digital libraries on their iPads. The technology promised to make reading engaging and fun.
But here's what actually happened:
Every time I handed them the iPad for "reading time," they'd spend two minutes on the reading app, then mysteriously need to "just check" the game folder. Fifteen minutes later, I'd find them deep in a game, the reading app long forgotten. The initial goal to get them reading and practicing math was quickly defeated when all they wanted to do was play games. So I made a drastic decision: I locked both iPads in my desk drawer at work. The first few days were rough. "But how will I read?" they protested. "With a book," I said, handing them actual, physical books. I told all family members moving forward my preference was for them to buy books for my children.
And something remarkable happened.
Without the digital escape hatch, without the constant pull of games and notifications, they started asking for real books. Not because they had to, but because they were genuinely interested. My daughter discovered Anne of Green Gables. My son fell in love with mysteries and adventure stories. They talked about characters like they were real people.
How I Learned to Love Reading: Lessons from My Childhood
"You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them."
— Ray Bradbury
When I think about my own childhood, I realize my parents did something that seems almost revolutionary today: they filled our home with books and made reading non-negotiable.
The Encyclopedia Britannica Years
My parents invested in a complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, those beautiful, heavy volumes that lined our shelves like treasure chests. To this day, I remember the smell of those books, the weight of them in my lap, the hours I spent flipping through pages learning about continents and oceans of the world, Aesop’s fables, countries, rise and fall of different empires, Greek and Roman mythologies I'd never seen, animals I'd never heard of, and concepts I was just beginning to understand. They didn't buy us the latest toys. They bought us books.
Arthur Maxwell's Bible Stories
Every night, my mother would read to us from Arthur Maxwell's The Bible Story series, ten volumes of beautifully illustrated Bible stories. Those stories weren't just religious education; they were adventures. David and Goliath. Daniel in the lion's den. Moses parting the Red Sea. My mother made reading sacred, special, and irresistible.
The Newspaper Reports
My father had a different approach: he made me read the newspaper. Every single night. And it wasn't passive reading, I had to give him a report on the most important updates from the day. What happened in the world? What did I learn? What did I think about it? At the time, I thought it was a chore. Now I realize he was teaching me to engage with text, to think critically, to form opinions, and to articulate them.
But here's my favorite memory: When my dad read an interesting article, he would cut it out and share it with me, or make a copy for all his children. He'd hand it to me at breakfast and say, "I thought you'd find this interesting." He showed me that reading wasn't just assigned—it was a gift you gave to the people you loved.
When Reading Became My Punishment
The ultimate proof that I loved reading? My mother used it as a consequence when I made poor choices. Other kids got grounded from TV or sent to their rooms. I got grounded from reading. "No books for the rest of the day," she'd say, and I'd be devastated. Think about that: reading was so valuable to me that losing it was punishment. How did we create that? And more importantly, how have we lost it?
How We Lost the Love of Reading:
"There are many little ways to enlarge your child's world. Love of books is the best of all."
— Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis
Several cultural shifts have conspired against reading:
1. The Screen Takeover
Common Sense Media (2023) reports:
Children ages 8-12 spend 5-7 hours daily on entertainment screens
Teens spend 8-10 hours daily on screens
Less than 10% of that time involves reading
Screens provide instant gratification, constant novelty, and minimal effort. Books require patience, imagination, and sustained attention. It's not a fair fight.
2. Schools Promoting Digital Over Physical Reading
Many schools have shifted to digital platforms, assuming this will engage reluctant readers. But research tells a different story:
The Journal of Educational Psychology (2021) found:
Students reading on screens have 26% lower comprehension than those reading physical books
Students reading digitally are more likely to skim and less likely to deeply engage
Physical books create stronger memory formation and better retention
Some schools only promote reading on iPads when kids should be reading actual books.
3. Excerpt Culture Instead of Full Texts
This one troubles me deeply as an educator. Many schools no longer assign full literary texts. Instead, they teach using excerpts, short passages designed to build comprehension skills.
But here's what gets lost:
The joy of following a character through an entire journey
The satisfaction of finishing a book
The development of stamina for sustained reading
The experience of getting lost in a story
Students learn to read passages, not books. They master comprehension strategies but never fall in love with reading. When we only read excerpts, we miss the point entirely.
"We read to know we're not alone."
— C.S. Lewis
4. Reading Seen as Academic, Not Joyful
Reading has become associated with worksheets, tests, and school requirements rather than adventure, escape, and joy. We've made reading work instead of play.
The Formative Years: Your Window of Opportunity
"Show me a family of readers, and I will show you the people who move the world."
— Napoleon Bonaparte
Brain research is clear: the window for developing a love of reading is narrow.
According to Dr. Maryanne Wolf, neuroscientist and author of Reader, Come Home:
The "reading brain" develops most readily between ages 4-10
Children who aren't reading fluently by third grade are four times more likely to drop out of high school
The habit of reading for pleasure is most easily established before age 12
This doesn't mean older children can't learn to love reading—they absolutely can. But the foundation is most naturally built early. The critical insight: If you want your child to be a reader, you must act now, not later.
Practical Steps: Cultivating a Love of Books
STEP 1: Remove the Competition (The Screen Problem)
"You can't compete with the Internet. But you can make books irresistible."
— Adapted from Seth Godin
The harsh truth: Books cannot compete with screens for a child's attention. They're not designed to. What worked for my family (and thousands of others):
Lock away the screens during peak reading hours:
No screens from after school until after dinner
No screens in bedrooms at night
No screens on Sunday (create a weekly "book day")
Lock devices away during summer reading months
Replace screen time with book access: Visit the local library, have kids borrow books from the their library at school.
Keep books in every room
Create a cozy reading nook with pillows and good lighting
Make books more accessible than screens
Research from the University of Michigan found: When screens were removed for even two weeks, children's reading volume tripled and their reported enjoyment of reading doubled. Your children might protest loudly. That's normal. Hold the line.
STEP 2: Fill Your Home with Books (Make Them Unavoidable)
"A house without books is like a room without windows."
— Heinrich Mann
My parents didn't wait for me to ask for books. They surrounded me with them.
Practical actions:
Keep books everywhere:
Bathroom (yes, really—captive audience!)
Car (for waiting times and road trips)
Kitchen (cookbooks, magazines)
Bedrooms (within arm's reach of the bed)
Living room (coffee table books, current reads)
Visit the library weekly:
Make it a regular family outing
Let children check out 10-15 books at a time
Don't stress if they don't read them all—exposure matters
Create a home library:
Dedicate bookshelf space to children's books
Organize by genre or series to encourage browsing
Display covers facing out (like a bookstore) for younger children
Subscribe to magazines:
Age-appropriate subscriptions arrive monthly
Highlights, National Geographic Kids, Cricket, Ranger Rick
Feels special to get mail addressed to them
The principle: If books are always available and screens aren't, reading becomes the default.
STEP 3: Read Aloud (Never Stop, Even When They Can Read)
"Reading aloud with children is known to be the single most important activity for building the knowledge and skills they will eventually require for learning to read."
— Marilyn Jager Adams, literacy researcher
The most powerful finding in reading research: Children who are read aloud to daily have:
Vocabularies 50% larger than children who aren't
Significantly higher reading comprehension scores
Greater likelihood of becoming lifelong readers
Common mistake: Stopping read-aloud time once children can read independently.
Better approach: Continue reading aloud through middle school and beyond. In my home, I still read the bible to my children during our bible study. Mind you, I have a child that has graduated college and in graduate school.
Why?
You can read books above their reading level, stretching vocabulary and comprehension
It's bonding time that doesn't require screens or money
You model what engaged, expressive reading sounds like
It creates shared stories and inside jokes
Practical tips:
Read for 20-30 minutes before bed (every single night)
Choose books slightly above their reading level
Use different voices for characters (ham it up!)
Stop at cliffhangers to build anticipation
Ask questions: "What do you think will happen next?"
My favorite family memories? The books we read together. Not the movies we watched.
STEP 4: Let Them Choose (Even If You Hate Their Choices)
"There is no such thing as a child who hates to read; there are only children who have not found the right book."
— Frank Serafini
This is crucial: Children develop a love of reading when they have agency over what they read.
Let them read:
I recommend classics, like Charlotte’s web, The Velveteen Rabbit…
Magazines about their interests (sports, gaming, animals)
Books "below their level" (sometimes easy books are pure joy)
Series books (Chronicles of Narnia)
Non-fiction about their obsessions (dinosaurs, space, cars)
Don't:
Force "classic literature" on reluctant readers
Ban genres you think are "beneath them"
Make reading another thing they have to perform for you
Research from Scholastic's Kids & Family Reading Report (2023):
Children who choose their own books read 3x more than children whose parents choose for them
Allowing choice is the single strongest predictor of reading enjoyment
Your job: Provide access to many books. Their job: Choose what speaks to them.
STEP 5: Model Reading (They Need to See You Reading)
"If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales." — Albert Einstein
Children don't do what you say. They do what you do.
Ask yourself honestly:
When was the last time your child saw you reading a book (not your phone)?
Do you read for pleasure, or only when required?
Do you talk about books you're reading?
Do you have books you're currently reading visible in your home?
Practical modeling:
Read your own book while they read theirs
Talk about what you're reading at dinner: "I'm reading the most interesting book about..."
Keep a book on your nightstand and in your bag
Join a book club (show them reading is social)
Reduce your own screen time during family hours
Children who see their parents reading regularly are 6x more likely to become lifelong readers themselves.
STEP 6: Create Reading Rituals (Make It Special)
Make reading feel like a treat, not a task.
Bedtime Reading Ritual:
Non-negotiable 30 minutes of reading before lights out
They can choose: read alone, listen to you read, or read together
Make the bedroom cozy with good lighting and comfortable pillows
Weekend Reading Time:
Saturday morning = hot chocolate and books
Everyone reads quietly for an hour
Optional: discuss what you're reading afterward
Summer Reading Challenge:
Set a family goal (not a punishment!)
Track books read on a poster board
Celebrate milestones with special outings (bookstore trip, ice cream)
Book-Related Activities:
Visit bookstores and let them browse (and buy one book)
Take library field trips to find treasures
Create a "reading fort" with blankets and flashlights
Have family "read-ins" instead of movie nights
The principle: Reading becomes associated with comfort, joy, and family connection.
STEP 7: Connect Books to Their Interests (Every Child Has a "Gateway Book")
"The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read."
— Mark Twain
If your child says "I hate reading," what they really mean is: "I haven't found a book I love yet."
Your mission: Find their gateway book.
Questions to ask:
What do they talk about constantly? (Sports, animals, gaming, cooking, art?)
What are they curious about?
What are their hobbies?
Who do they admire?
Then find books about THAT:
Loves soccer? → Biographies of famous players, sports novels, coaching books
Into cooking? → Cookbooks, food science books, culinary memoirs
Loves drawing? → How-to-draw books, graphic novels, art history
The University of California found: When children read books connected to their existing interests, they're 4x more likely to continue reading for pleasure.
STEP 8: Don't Force It (But Don't Give Up Either)
"You may have tangible wealth untold; caskets of jewels and coffers of gold. Richer than I you can never be—I had a mother who read to me."
— Strickland Gillilan
There will be resistance. That's normal.
What doesn't work:
Punishing them for not reading
Making reading another homework assignment
Forcing them to read books they hate
Requiring book reports on pleasure reading
What does work:
Making books always available
Reading aloud even when they resist
Celebrating small wins ("You read for 10 minutes today!")
Being patient and consistent
Research shows: It takes 21-30 days of consistent exposure before a new habit feels natural.
Don't give up after a week. Give it a month. Then another.
STEP 9: The Newspaper Experiment (My Dad's Strategy)
This one changed my life, so I'm passing it on:
For older children (ages 10+):
Subscribe to a physical newspaper or news magazine
Require them to read it daily (even just 10 minutes)
Ask them to report on one interesting story at dinner
Share articles YOU find interesting with them
Why this works:
Develops critical thinking about current events
Builds vocabulary and general knowledge
Creates conversation opportunities
Shows reading is relevant to real life
Modern adaptation:
Subscribe to The Week (summarizes news for busy families)
Use Time for Kids or Scholastic News (age-appropriate news)
Share interesting articles digitally if necessary (but print is better!)
When children see that reading connects them to the world, it becomes meaningful, not just mandatory.
STEP 10: Physical Books Over Digital (This Matters More Than You Think)
"I cannot live without books."
— Thomas Jefferson
Neuroscience research is clear: physical books create stronger readers.
A meta-analysis of 54 studies (published in Educational Research Review, 2018) found:
Reading comprehension is significantly higher with physical books
Students reading digitally are more likely to multitask and skim
Physical books enhance memory retention by 20-30%
The tactile experience of turning pages deepens engagement
Why physical beats digital:
No notifications or distractions
Easier to see progress (pages turning, bookmark moving)
Better for eyes (less strain, better sleep)
Collectible and shareable (builds home library)
Push back against schools that only offer digital reading. Advocate for physical books.
Special Challenges: When Reading Is Genuinely Hard
Some children struggle with reading not because they hate it, but because it's genuinely difficult:
Dyslexia and Learning Disabilities:
Affects 15-20% of children
Requires specialized instruction (Orton-Gillingham, Wilson Reading)
Audiobooks can be a bridge (still builds comprehension and vocabulary)
Get professional evaluation if suspected
ADHD and Attention Challenges:
Shorter books work better initially
Graphic novels can be perfect (visual + text)
Read-aloud time helps with focus
Movement breaks during reading time
If your child is struggling significantly despite consistent effort, consult with their teacher or a reading specialist. Early intervention makes all the difference.
The Long Game: What You're Really Building
"Today a reader, tomorrow a leader."
— Margaret Fuller
When you cultivate a love of reading, you're not just helping your child pass English class.
You're building:
Vocabulary (readers have 50% more words at their disposal)
Empathy (reading fiction increases understanding of others)
Critical thinking (readers analyze, question, evaluate)
Focus and concentration (sustained reading builds attention span)
Imagination and creativity (books spark mental images)
Academic success (readers perform better in ALL subjects)
Stress relief (reading reduces stress by 68% according to University of Sussex)
Lifelong learning (readers continue learning long after school ends)
Research from the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD):
Students who read for pleasure score significantly higher in math, science, and reading. Reading for pleasure is a stronger predictor of success than parents' education or socioeconomic status. You're not just teaching them to read. You're giving them a superpower.
My Challenge to You
This week, do just THREE things:
Lock away screens for one week (or even just weekdays after school)
Read aloud to your child for 20 minutes tonight (yes, even if they're 12)
Take them to the library or bookstore and let them choose any book they want
That's it. Three small actions.
Then watch what happens.
The Bottom Line
"A book is a dream you hold in your hands."
— Neil Gaiman
We haven't lost the love of reading because children today are different. We've lost it because we've allowed screens to dominate, schools to prioritize excerpts over books, and reading to become work instead of joy.
But we can get it back.
Fill your home with books. Lock away screens. Read aloud. Model reading. Give them choice. Be patient.
And remember my mother's ultimate proof:
When reading becomes something your child is devastated to lose, something they sneak under the covers with a flashlight, something they beg for "just one more chapter" of—you've won.
Not because you forced it. Because you made it irresistible.
Partnering with you in raising readers,
Dr. Toyin Atolagbe, Founder, Lighthouse Parenting Hub
<hr>At Lighthouse Parenting Hub, we believe every child can become a reader—they just need the right environment, the right books, and parents who won't give up.
Love is our compass. Partnership is our way.
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